The Mad Hatter, Aizen, and a Teacup
by XxYunikuna UtsukushixX
Summary: Aizen is sent an invitation from The Mad Hatter. He's invited to a tea party, but the problem is, there's only one cup. A crack-fic with a little gore, so be warned.


Just a little something I came up with when I was bored.

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach or Alice in Wonderland. Just the plot.

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_Sousuke Aizen_

_You are now officially invited to the "Tea Party of Wonders"_

_Hosted by none other than myself, The Mad Hatter_

_Held in Wonderland at the "White Queens Castle"_

Aizen looked at the letter in disbelief. Wondering why in all of Hueco Mundo, the Mad Hatter invited him to a tea party. Although he was tired and had no time for games, he did need the hour long session of tea and biscuits. Sighing and rubbing his temples, Aizen stood up from his chair and called for Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra appeared instantly then bowed, awaiting Aizen's orders. "An hour," was all Aizen told Ulquiorra before teleporting away.

I wandered through the Senkaimon from Hueco Mundo into "The Land of Wonders." **_This world never ceased to amaze me, with its strange creatures and people. Especially Alice,_** I thought and grinned. I made certain to take my time before going to the castle for the party. I wanted to devour Alice, her innocence, her sweet scent. No wonder Mad Hatter took a liking to her.

**_He wanted to taint that pure and sweet, delicate flower. But so did I. It was fun agreeing upon a rivalry to vie for Alice's affections, the Mad Hatter and I_**. I rubbed my chin in a thoughtful manner, wondering what I would do to that sweet flower if we were to ever be alone. I stopped a little along the way to the castle, turning to my side, as I saw a strange but beautiful flower. I plucked the snarling, struggling thing with its sharp teeth glinting in warning, wary of my fingers.

Red beads of blood appeared on my fingers, as the flower pulled back with blood-stained teeth. The bite marks stung, but was completely cast side as I studied the flower. It had a long purple stalk, I noticed as I held it. It also had deep, bright red petals, almost a crimson color. They were like a collar around the bulb of the flower's head, which was streaked a midnight black and blue. There were also red and white dots adorning the head.

I wondered if I should give the flower to Alice, but in the state it was in...I decided against it. Carefully and delicately, I reached for its mouth and plucked every last sharp fang from its green flower-like gums. It made hissing-like gurgling sounds, but fell quiet as it bled red blood. **_Interesting_**, I thought. I picked up another flower as the same in my hand and pulled off its head, then put that and it's purple stem into my pocket. **_Szaeyal should be occupied with this, instead of constantly nagging me about the lack of subjects for experiments_**.

I then turned back on the path, remembering what I came to Wonderland for. I finally reached the pristine, white-bricked, porcelain castle that looked as if one touch would make it crumble and fall. I walked through the open gates, finding no guards as usual, because there were basically no dangers in Wonderland, now that the Red Queen was gone. I walked into a maze that led me to the Courtyard that held the party. The first time I was here, I was mind-boggled as the Mad Hatter put it. He was a formidable and strong foe.

The strange thing about him was that his personality made him seem like a lunatic, but I respected him. I made a right turn and ended up at my destination. I saw a table and what seemed to be broken plates and cups strewn about the grass. I shrugged it off as the March Hare's doing. At least he had common sense in showing that he disliked the quietness of the session, wanting to do something more strenuous. It was amusing sometimes, but not if he aimed for your head.

Mad Hatter looked up at me, seeming as if he'd come out of having a conversation with himself. "Aah welcome Aizen," a grin filled with killer intent appeared on his face. I returned a smile all the same. "Hello Hatter," I replied. Stepping forward, I pulled a chair out from underneath the 4 seated table, and pulled it up. I quickly scanned around for Alice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice appear from behind a tall rosebush with black roses. She was blushing, wearing the most beautiful gown I had ever seen on her. Our eyes met for a moment, before she broke eye contact with me. She approached the table and gave a quiet and shy greeting. As she sat down between me and the Hatter, I leaned toward her and gave her the flower I picked up along the way here. Her smile was radiant as she thanked me with a kiss on the cheek.

I could feel my cheeks turn pink. I looked in the Hatter's direction, watching as he seethed quietly with jealousy.

I observed her outfit (I'm not finishing what Aizen says about her outfit or what he images O.o)

Alice hadn't noticed it as she marveled at the flower. 'Thank you Aizen," Alice said as she looked up at me. "It is my pleasure," I replied with my infamous smirk. She giggled before returning her attention back to the flower. "Ahem!" interrupted the Hatter to get our attention. "Since we're all here, why don't we get started." He then smiled as he was finished speaking.

The only problem though was that, there was one cup. _What the fuck! One cup! Was this all that I came for?! ONE FUCKING CUP! _I yelled in my head.

Alice seemed to notice the killer intent radiating off of me and the Mad Hatter. I noticed as he put on a grin that put the Cheshire Cat to shame. Alice scooted back in her chair and got up, moving a reasonable distance away. The March Hare still sat, drinking tea straight from the teapot's spout, not even giving a care in the world. He then grabbed a handful of crumpets (crackers -_-) and shoved them down his throat, taking a gulp of tea as he did so. I took my eyes away from the unsightly, disgusting scene.

Hatter was so engrossed in his observation of the March Hare drinking al the tea. So I decided to reach for the only teacup. But before I could pick it up, Hatter grabbed the cup. I growled as Hatter turned and grinned at me. Killer intent radiating off of him in waves. It was so thick, I could see shadows whipping about around him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Asked the Hatter, as he kept his grip on the cup. "What does it look like?" I responded rudely. "Oh no you don't'" Hatter replied lowly and dangerously. I had a death grip on the cup and I wasn't going to let it go. "Shall we see then?" I asked the Hatter.

"Yes, we shall" He replied.

(Time skip: 30 minutes later of tugging and pulling on the teacup)

"I won't give up." The tired Hatter stated grouchily. "Me neither," I replied just as tired and grumpy. I thought this was stupid, so I just let the cup go. We were so engrossed in our fight over the little teacup, that we didn't see a sight we didn't expect. Alice and the March Hare going at it like animals. Well the March Hare being the only animal.

My reiatsu and killer intent flared, skyrocketing through the roof. The Hatter broke the cup in a rage, not even hurting himself. We looked at each other, nodding in a silent agreement. I sonido'd to Alice and the Hare. Reaching down, I yanked Alice up by her hair. She screeched and clawed at my hands, trying to get me to let go.

I pulled her up to my eye level and slapped her hard across her face. "You slut!" I hissed. "How could you?!" I yelled in her face. "How could I?!" She spat. I"I wasn't yours to begin with!" She continued. I slapped her again. "Fuck you!" She hissed.

I broke her neck with the next slap to her face. Her naked form slumped, as her arms fell limply at her sides. Her eyes wide open and her once vibrant red lips, went pale. I dropped the disgusting thing and wiped my hands off on my robes. I turned to see the Mad Hatter holding the March Hare's up by his ears in one hand, and his ahem (I'd rather not type it here) in the other. He was laughing and yelling.

The March Hare, I noticed was limp as well. "Rabbit stew?" The Mad Hatter asked me as he just laughed hysterically. "Yes?" I replied as I began to laugh as well. The Hatter took out a hatchet and began to savagely chop up the Hare, apparently not giving a shit if he cut off his own fingers in the process. I then began to notice something. My heart started beating, as I continued to watch the Mad Hatter frantically chop at the mutilated rabbit.

I've long since stopped laughing

I walked up to the Mad Hatter, taking the hatchet and the Hare out of his hands and fling them aside. I brought my now bloody hands to The Hatters face and placed a kiss on his lips. He went limp for a moment, then returned the kiss with fervor. He grabbed the back of my head, as he shoved his tongue into my mouth, trying to deepen the kiss. He was about a good head taller than I was. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist.

Screaming and moaning could be heard that day.

(Time skip: 10 months later with a very pregnant Aizen)

i waddled the halls of Hueco Mundo, looking for food as usual. I held up my backside looking for the kitchen. "Aizen, baby! Where are you?!" I heard the Hatter yell. I quickly waddled to the sound, well slowly because the twins were slowing me down. I soon forgot about the food and waddled to my grinning hubby. "Where were you? I've been looking all over for you darling." The Hatter said angrily, before stroking my face, then slapping me.

I cried out at the pain. I could feel something wet flow down my legs. "Oh dear," whispered Hatter. He briskly walked off, getting caught up in his own little world, leaving me there alone, as I fell to the floor. "I will fucking kill you bastard!" I yelled out in pain. "Ulquiorra!" I yelled.

Said man appeared at my side. "Take me to the infirmary," I half groaned, and grunted in pain. "After that, kill the Hatter." I continued and commanded Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra nodded before transporting me to Szayeal, then leaving to kill the Hatter. Szayeal frantically hurried to me. I spat out through my teeth "If you dare think of experimenting on my children, I will turn your sorry, sadistic ass into ashes.

Szayeal cringed a bit before getting to work.

"Get these bastards out of me!" I yelled. My patience wearing thin, my cheek stinging from the slap from earlier. Ulquiorra returned with The Hatter's head, dropping it onto the floor. I grinned, but dropped it as I felt a searing pain shoot through my back.

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Please Review :). Honest criticism is appreciated and accepted. No crap :)


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